Turn
by Personification of Fluff
Summary: A behind-the-scenes look at some of the later MirSan chapters. What is passing through their minds as the final confrontation for Kohaku looms in front of them?
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Turn

**Author:** Personification of Fluff

**Rating:** G

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Disclaimer:**I wrote this story, but the characters are not mine. I don't own Inuyasha, and if I were making money on this, I would own a lot more anime. And my house would have more heating.

**Summary:** When I was reading the end of Inuyasha, I remember how Miroku was writing stuff in the dirt and it was all about girls. This is a possible conversation that could have happened between Sango and Miroku to explain why he had girls on the mind. Another possibility could ave been that Sango's prengant with a girl at this time of the graphic novel, but how she knew it was a girl so early without an ultra sound escapes me, so if you're looking for sex, it's found here. I did actually have the comic open in front of me when I wrote this, so it should be accurate to the graphic novel, but is miroku actually writing _hiragana_? I think so, but it's been years since I spoke to my Japanese-reading/writing friend, so if I'm wrong on that point I will do my best to correct it post haste.

**2nd Disclaimer:**I was cleaning my desktop when I found this. It is, at this point, about a year old. The crazy thing is that I was certain, _certain,_ that I had uploaded it already, but apparently not.

**2nd summary:**I have two more of these. The goal was to do a whole Miroku/Sango focus of what goes on behind the scenes in the graphic novel. They will be uploaded... eventually.

Prologue: Miroku's Dreams

I watch her kneel by Kohaku; the way her long hair falls to just barely brush her shoulders, the part of her soft mouth as she looks at him. Her gaze and the rise and fall of her chest is like a constant meditation... it _is_ a meditation. Occasionally, I am jealous of Sango, thinking that perhaps she has found the enlightenment I should have been able to achieve, but mostly I am jealous of Kohaku.

We had been becoming close, Sango and I. She had risked her _hiraikotsu_ in order to save me. I drank poison in order to help save her. Sometimes I could elicit the smallest smile from her just from gazing at her--the way maybe I should have begun courting her from the start, with longing and adoration. When she does smile, her cheeks burn and she quickly looks away. I delighted at her responses, wondering what made her blush. Did she know what thoughts ran through my head? Did she find herself dreaming of a future together? Even, as of late, when she would help me bind wounds I could not reach after a fight, her fingers would linger against my skin. Sometimes, when the _shouki_ wound spread, she would brush her fingers beside the twisted route of the expansion, and she would let me hold her against my naked chest, comforting each other.

Then Kohaku became unconscious, and now she does naught but stay by him. I do not hold the grudge against Kohaku himself. I wish the boy would get well earnestly. I'm merely upset that he has been set between Sango and I. I feel bad now when I disturb her. I bring her food, on the occasions where Shippou or Kaede-chan do not, and I cannot even bring myself to speak with her. I sit by her in perfect silence. When Rin, Jaken in tow, comes to visit Kohaku, she fills the room with idle, friendly banter and brings Sango back to reality for brief periods of time.

On the fourth day I brought her lunch. I sat across from her, Kohaku between us, lowering my eyes slightly, but still watching her eat. Sango took a few bites of the rice and vegetables and then set down the bowl carefully beside her.

"I'm sorry that I've been ignoring you, Houshi-sama." Her words were gentle, but they had a rough, unpolished edge. She had been quiet for so long that her voice felt unused.

"There still hasn't been a change in Kohaku?" She shook her head no. "Sango, I think you need a break. You've been waiting so patiently for him to wake up. You need proper rest. You need fresh air." I reached across and put my gloved hand on the ground. It was an offering for her to take it without the embarrassment of leaving it there, hanging, if she didn't want it. I smiled at her softly; the kind of shy smile I should have given her when we first met. "Sango, let me take you out for a walk."

Once upon a time I think she would have gotten furious with me for ever having tried to make the suggestion. Once upon a time she would have shrunk away and called me a pervert, or a lecher, or accuse me of trying to take her from Kohaku, but not now. Not with all the times we've bled together, and cried together, and thought of each other as we lay dying. Yes, had something like that incident with Hatchi and that village happen now, I have no doubt in my mind that Sango would stand up for me and support me. This afternoon she smiled at me, and slipped her hand into mine.

"I would like that very much, Houshi-sama."

I took her hand and led her outside, leaving Shippo and Kaede to keep watch over Kohaku. The air outside was dry and hot from the summer air, and yet it seemed so much cooler than in that hot house. I guided her towards the fields. We walked on the sandy shores along the rice fields, the gentle waters calm and as clear blue as the sky. It felt...

It felt safe.

I think she felt that way too. The further we got from the village, the more she seemed relaxed. She even leaned her head on my shoulder as we walked, our hands still entwined. I did not take us far from the village, in case something should happen, but instead I took us around it, and I stopped for a brief time around a cliff I had found, overlooking the village. Sango was comfortable. I did not want to make her think I was taking her too far from her brother. All it would take was a cry for someone to come to us, or vice versa, but we had privacy enough that we were, as Kagome would have put it, cuddling on the cliff. I had my arm around her shoulders, and her head was tucked under my chin. I could feel her warm breath through my robes.

"This is nice," she sighed.

"Mh hm," was about all I could say in agreement. I know that Sango would never believe me, but sometimes when she was close to me I felt as if my mind shut off. "I hope that after we defeat Naraku we can spend more afternoons like this. I've become used to taking walks with you, Sango."

She was quiet, but it was a reflective kind of quiet, rather than a nervous one. She lifted her head a little and I could feel some of her hairs shifting out of her soft ponytail. "You think about that a lot, dont you, Hosuhi-sama? Life after Naraku, marriage, what we'll do when we're married and children I imagine, too."

"Oh yes. I think about children a lot. I wonder what my child will be like, what we might call them, how many we'll have, what gender they'll be..."

"And what do you imagine our child will be like?" she asked with a slight purr in her voice from the subject matter. I smiled, all but floating in pleasure. We were fantasizing together.

"Oh, I imagine that if we have a girl she will be much like Kagome. She'll be loud, and rambunctious, and want to climb anything she can. She'll probably break her arm at least once falling from something high and steal your weapons to practice them. Maybe she'll have power like mine, and she'll learn to be calm and reserved, and if not I imagine she'll take a liking to fighting and be much like Inuyasha in that manner. I can't imagine the two of us having a girl and having her be quiet and thoughtful and polite like you, Sango. You'll fill her head with stories of great heroines from the past--I'll fill it with stories of you--and between that and rebelling against my over protectiveness, she'll be anything but quiet and demure.

"Should we have a boy, I expect that he'll be much like me."

"Perverse?" she interrupted. Sango yelped when I pinched her side, though I was grinning like a fool at hearing her tease me.

"No. Well, maybe. I will, of course, have to teach him about the opposite sex and all the good they do for men. And I will have to teach him letters and how to fight. But I just can't imagine a rambunctious boy. There's Inuyasha, and I think he's the only male I know who is uncontrollable. Hatchi, myself, Mushin, Kohaku, even Sesshoumaru-sama and Shippo! All of them are very calm and serious. Alcoholics? Maybe. Young? Yes, and cold aristocratic bastard, without a doubt, but none of them seem to have the same energy that people like you, Kagome, and Rin seem to have. Even Kaede has that same energy--the ability to keep going and run like clockwork."

Sango seemed to reflect on that for a moment. Eventually she lifted her head to look me in the eye. In our walk her hair had become loosened and some of it clung to her cheeks and neck. Her cheeks had darkened from the wind. She looked healthier and more alive already. "Houshi-sama, I'm sorry if this offends you, but if you're right, then I want to have girls rather than boys. We've been so busy that while a vacation and a chance to relax is nice, the last thing I want is a life of boredom. If a girl would keep me on my toes, I think I would like that more."

I tapped her nose playfully. "Just remember that there's no vacation for motherhood, Sango."

"Sure there is. It's called 'go bother your father for an hour'." I laughed heartily at that and Sango pulled her body back from mine to fix her hair. "And when that fails, its called 'go and bug your uncle Kohaku for an hour'."

"We're not even married yet, and yet you're arranging your brother for baby sitting." I stood up and took her hand again. "Let us walk back to the village, Sango. I don't want to take you out too long or for too far with your brother hurt."

As we walked back, Sango asked, "Would you mind if we did this again tomorrow, Houshi-sama? I could use the exercise and the fresh air and the company," she added with a fetching blush.

I grinned like a fool. I should have known that something bad was going to happen when I was started feeling that way, but I was too happy to think about anything but her. I leaned over and I kissed her head, but I did so deceptively. I doubt that anyone watching us or even Sango knew that I had done it. To others I would have looked only as if I were kissing her hair, or enjoying the scent and feel of it. I was very much in love with her, and when she asked questions like that, or leaned on me when we walked, I didn't care who knew it--in fact, I wanted people to know that this dazzling creature whose hand was in mine, this beautiful warrior and gentle nurse, was _mine_. I had caught her, I had seduced her, and I didn't care that I had lost my heart to her in the process.

"I would be more than happy to have another walk with you tomorrow, Sango."

* * *

The bad thing I now know I should have been expecting happened the next day. I was waiting near the hut for noon to pass so that I could ask Sango for another walk. I was still feeling warm and floaty (not that I would admit such) even twenty-four hours after our first promenade. I almost felt giddy. And young--I felt very youthful. If I had thought about it before hand, I realized that I should have brought Sango flowers. I doubt she had ever been given flowers, and Kagome had once told me that girls like that.

Which is really rather funny when you take into consideration that taking a womans virginity was also call....

Nevermind.

I felt foolish and I started to write in the dirt. Children came to flock by my, curiously watching me write _hiragana_ in the dirt.

"Wow!"

"What's it say, Houshi-sama?"

"This is 'daughter'," I said.

"And this one?" they asked me.

"'Princess', 'Big Sister', 'Little Sister'." My stick scratched in the dirt. Thinking about a family, about a family of girls I could care for, made me so excited that a large part of me was ready to run to Sango and wed her then and there, and start making a family right away. Thinking of Sango made me think of marrying her, of carting her away and finally getting to kiss her, of exposing all the parts of her I had only seen in tantalizing glimpses during our time together, to hold her close and love her... forever. I scratched a final picture in the dirt, my energy still raging but my head so full on fanciful visions that moving seemed a waste. "'Bride'."

I was going to do it. I was going to marry Sango and have a dozen beautiful children with her.

"What's going on?" the children cried, looking up at the sky. "It's getting dark!"

I looked up too. I had just begun to debate etching Sangos name into the dirt and then fetching her to see the progression of my thoughts, beginning from the result and then up to the cause. When I saw that the darkness was a swarm of demons, I lifted my voice and turned my energy into something else; something dangerous. I grabbed for the beads covering my wrist. My pleasant dreams were dashed. "Quickly, everyone! Into your houses!"

"Ho... Houshi-sama?!" The children were scared.

"It's okay," I told them, though I was not sure it would be. I was about to tell the children to run and get Sango, but the whole town could see the crowd of demons above us. News would spread without them. I glanced around to make sure that the children weren't around. I wanted to make sure that the unleashed _kazanna_ would not hurt them when I opened it, though I was well aware that I was taking a risk. My _kazaana_ had been weakened and I could not guarantee that I could close it in time... though I never had been sure of that when I used it, had I?

The demons began attacking. I opened the _kazaana_ to destroy them, and when I happened to glance down, I saw that the force of the wind had destroyed the characters I etched in the dirt for the children.

I only hoped that it would not be some portent of things that were to come.

* * *

_To be continued._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Sango

I don't know why I didn't hear it earlier—the sound of the _kazaana_. It was just Houshi-sama and I, laying in Kaede's half-demolished house, too weak to move. I knew about the shouki wounds. He told me about those himself, and that was how I found the strength to move closer to him. We both needed the support of each other's body pressing together tightly—the feeling of a friend nearby, and a lover, of someone just there to offer help and comfort. I rested my head over his heart, listening to it beat, and his weak arm rested over my shoulder, careful of the injuries I bore.

"Does it hurt?" I asked him, the question I feared the most when I learned the shouki wounds had expanded.

"No." There was relief in his voice.

"Houshi-sama, thank you for trying to save Kohaku. That was a rather foolish thing you did—but it was also one of the bravest and selfless things I've seen you do."

He smiled a little, but it was a shadow of his normal cheery grin. "I knew that if Kohaku would die, that you wouldn't be yourself anymore. You'd go back to being like the woman you were when we first met. I couldn't bear not seeing you smile again, Sango."

I felt myself blush—amazing I had blood for it given the wound on my arm. I didn't voice my thoughts out loud—I had admitted them out loud once, but that was to _hiraikotsu_, and Houshi-sama had no way of knowing. _Kohaku's not the only one that would cause my heart to break if he left. I love you, Houshi-sama._

Houshi-sama was quiet. I forgot, sometimes, how smart he was, and I wondered if he had figured out my thoughts. Instead, he pointed out, "I have seen you fight, Sango. I didn't think that you would fall so quickly. What happened? Were Kohaku and the demon possessing him really that strong?"

I slowly gave my head a slight shake. "No, he was not that strong. But he was still in the body of Kohaku. For a few months, though he wasn't travelling with our group, I had my brother back. I suppose that all the preparation I had done for the day that I might have take my own brother's life was forgotten in that time. I didn't think he would become possessed again, and I was certain that Sesshoumaru-sama would protect him from any demon who sought the shard in his neck."

"Sesshoumaru-sama… Sango, what happened to Rin and Jaken?"

I remember the way I saw Kohaku fight Rin before I collapsed. I lifted my head slightly, and pain lanced down my arm from my wound. "Rin tried to stop Kohaku from fighting us…" I heard him breath in sharply and then hold his breath, waiting for the bad news. If Kohaku—or, more correctly, the being that had possessed Kohaku—had done this to _us_, seasoned fighters, he should have easily slaughtered Rin. "He didn't kill her though. He just knocked her out. I think… I think Houshi-sama, that Kohaku took her. I don't see her anywhere."

"Took her? Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe to lure Sesshoumaru-sama somewhere." I leaned my head back down. "Regardless, I rather hope that he did take her. We were lucky to survive the house falling down. Rin is only a little girl. No matter how tough her life with Sesshoumaru-sama may have made her, I don't want to find out that she was killed from the house collapsing."

"Agreed, Sango…"

We were quiet for awhile after that. Then he asked me, "Do you blame me for what happened to Kohaku?"

"Why?"

"Because… because I convinced you to go off with me that afternoon... in that time, Kohaku became possessed. If you had been there, you could have slain the demon and stopped this from happening."

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. His face was scrunched with worry. I smiled at him wearily. "No, I don't blame you, Houshi-sama. My spirit needed a distraction, and I was willing to go with you. I didn't need much convincing, if you remember. Nor are you to blame for the fight that drew us both out. If I…"

My voice became choked. I reached up to hold his good hand, even though it hurt my wounds to do so. His fingertips were slick with my blood—I wonder now if he even noticed. "If I had been able to trust you, rather than worry about you as if you weren't able to take care of yourself, maybe things would have gone differently. I need to learn not to rush to your side when I see you fighting. But I saw you fighting, and I _needed_ to help. I needed to be there for you. It's what I've always done with you, Houshi-sama, just like you've always done the same for me. Tatewake's house and the bear demon, the mountain where I thought you had died…" _God, so many times I thought you had died! But you're still here with me now, aren't you, Houshi-sama? Always there by my side, even if some other girl walked by, if I needed you, you were there… so loyal, Hosuhi-sama, so stupidly, lovably loyal!_

"Houshi-sama, there is something I have never told you, and I want to tell you now."

He gave a hollow, short laugh. It was the laugh of a hurt, tired man, wise beyond his years. "Don't, Sango. That sounds too much like a goodbye. We're not ready for goodbyes yet."

My hand tightened around his. I couldn't see his face. The house, collapsed around us, was dark. But I could see the fabric of his robes, and I stared at them so long I thought to memorize them. "No, it's something I've had on my conscious for some time and it's something I want to say, but something I always felt so silly for saying. I'm sorry, Houshi-sama, for all the times I've accused you of lying, or cheating. I'm sorry for all the times I said it with just a look. It was incredibly unfair of me. You really are loyal. We're lucky to have a friend like you."

His grip tightened on my shoulder from my choice of words. Our bodies were pressed so tightly together that I felt surrounded by him, and was not afraid despite the beams that threatened to fall at any moment.

"And… and I'm lucky to have a lover like you."

He lowered his head, hiding his blush and his grateful expression. I knew, though, from his voice, that I had touched him. It was the closest I had come to admitting my feelings to him. I think it was best that way. I think, sometimes, that if I had told him that I loved him flat and outright, I might have frightened him away. Instead we said it in other things we said, like apologies or in gratitude. "Thank you, Sango."

We lay like that for sometime in silence. We didn't know that Inuyasha and Kagome were on their way, merely that we were incapable of moving until our wounds had stopped bleeding and a path cleared for us. Luckily Inuyasha and Kagome did find us. Their presence may have saved my life—at least for a time. It was only when Inuyasha and Kagome arrived that I began to hear it—the _kazaana_. It was like a whistle. No, more like the sound of the wind whistling through the leaves, rather than suggesting that it was like a human whistle.

Kagome picked up on it too. I could tell from her sudden change in body language. Her arms stiffened as she supported my weak body. I was appreciative of her presence, but I wanted Houshi-sama back. I wanted his arms around me, my head on his chest. There was something about hearing his heartbeat, hear it echoing inside of me, that made me feel like everything was going to be okay.

His cursed hand clenched. "It is expanding… It's no more than wind now, but it is expanding…"

Kagome helped me to sit up. I think she may have even been trying to get me to stand, but I would not move. When I was sitting, I was closer to Houshi-sama, and from where I sat I could see his eyes. They were beautiful, sad eyes, and still clear. They were not clouded by pain and it eased my heart a little to know that he wasn't in agony. "Mushin…"

"Could do nothing to help this," he said lowly, avoiding my gaze. His blue eyes seemed to glow underneath his long lashes. Very slowly, he did raise them to mine, speaking to me and to no one else. It seemed that it was hard for him to speak. I realize now that he was fading into unconsciousness, thought at the time I refused to think on it for fear that I would conclude he was dying. I let myself be numb—just like him. "I fear it cannot be contained. It will continue to whistle. It may even expand."

"No, Houshi-sama…." My voice wavered and he smiled at me. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. Numb, but not stone. Not yet. I wasn't stone yet. I knew then that I was going to have to be stone to get through this. Numb wasn't good enough. Not when I had to be strong for myself _and_ Houshi-sama!

He smiled at me—god _damn_ him, god _bless_ him!—he _smiled_ at me, still worried about me. It felt like we had forgotten that Inuyasha and Kagome were there. How awkward they must have felt to be standing there, watching the exchange between us and knowing that there was nothing they could say or do to help us.

"Sango…" His smile spread when he said my name. My numb heart broke. If there was more, he never got to say it. He fell into unconsciousness in front of me, but the _kazaana_ did not expand. My name had been a good bye. The situation was serious, and Houshi-sama simply was not expecting to make it through.

Kaede let us use a storage shed to recuperate. She did not tell us to take him out of the village. That made me glad. It gave me hope as she bandaged me up. Maybe, under her careful hand, he might be able to wake up. Maybe he wouldn't die. Maybe he wouldn't lose control of the wind tunnel. Maybe…

I looked at Miroku lying unconscious on a pile of hay. He looked as though he were merely asleep. And the wind tunnel continued to whistle.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	3. Chapter 3

_The last installment. For some reason, these chapters are getting shorter with each posting. Enjoy, and thanks for the reviews!_

* * *

_Chapter Three_

My shoulder hurt when I finished getting dressed. I had just finished bathing and binding myself, making sure not to get my wounds wet, when I heard Shippou approaching. His tail shook nervously. "Are you going to go and fight, Sango?"

I ignored the question and pulled my hair up into a high bun to keep it from flying loose amidst battle. My shoulder burned, but I didnt care. I refused to even acknowledge it. Since Miroku had fallen unconscious and been placed in the storage shed (now an impromptu hospital, Kagome had called it before she and Inuyasha left), I had built up the ice around my heart. I needed to be perfectly focused for what I was going to do. If I let my heart waver, for even a moment, I would be too weak to finish it. 'Show emotion, Sango. Let them play you. Let them _think_ they are playing you, and then strike. Be deception. Be a liar. Be swift and sure in your blows.'

"This is about more than Kahoku or revenge now."

Shippou crept closer to me. "Don't your wounds hurt, Sango?"

Yes, they hurt. Sometimes they even make me dizzy. I would not acknowledge it to Shippou, as much as I cared for him. I could not ease over his fears and still be numb, and above all, I _must_ maintain that!

"Shippou-kun," I said gently, turning to him finally, my hand resting on my sword. "Please, go and find Kirara for me, will you? She went off for some privacy. Tell her that I will be waiting for her at the entrance of the village in twenty minutes. There is one person I have yet to say goodbye too."

Shippou's face scrunched up childishly. "You haven't said goodbye to me, Sango!" he said bitterly.

I knelt down and hugged him tightly, giving him exactly what he wanted. _I had not said goodbye to you, Shippou-kun, because I expect you to still be here when I get back._

We had found Rin. She was largely uninjured from the collapse of the building. I was glad that Rin had not been hurt by Kohaku. I had been worried, _so_ worried, that he would do something to her, and loose his only friend. Yet the question remained, why hadn't he struck out and killed her? She had been utterly defenseless! Was it because, as I hoped, some shred of my brother remained in his body, fighting against it? He could have finished off Houshi-sama and I as well, and yet he hadn't. He had simply escaped. Why? Hadn't we made ourselves enough of a threat to Naraku? Had he not been given orders to kill us of? Was Naraku so inhuman and vile that he sought to keep Houshi-sama alive because he wanted him to suffer the same fate as the rest of Miroku's family?

Miroku. I said it, but only in my head. Only in my head, Sango!

"How is he?" I asked Kaede. Not 'how is Houshi-sama?' or 'how is Miroku?' or even 'how is my friend?' Certainly not 'how is my fiance'! 'Him'. Completely removed and objective. I think Kaede saw right through me.

"He's still asleep but..." She paused for breath and then looked at me. "But he's not in pain from the poison he drank. I see he told you about it, finally." I sensed disapproval in her voice in that 'finally'.

"You knew before I did, then?"

Her nod was almost a guilty one. "When he came to me needed help, sometimes, healing, he was in such a condition that even the most heartiest of men should have had tears in his eyes, but Miroku was only calm. I asked him about it, and he told me what had happened. He could not hide him from a true healer, Sango. You may know enough to keep him alive on the battlefield, but when I sew his wounds together without anything to relieve the pain and his face his simply _bored_, I know that something is amiss."

I lowered my own face. This time I was guilty. "All those times on the battlefield, when he had become wounded, I never noticed the change in his body language that told me that he wasn't really hurt."

"I expect that was because he was acting. He didn't want you to know. You are so strong when it comes to bearing physical pain, Sango. The scars on your back prove it to him. I think he was afraid you would call him a coward if you knew he had chosen this route." She smiled at me kindly. "And I think that knowing how much you could tolerate was part of the reason why he was so adamant you bear his child. Some women cannot stand the pain of childbirth, but I have no doubt that you would bear it beautifully."

I blushed. "Thank you, Kaede-sama."

"Are you going after Inuyasha and Kagome?" she asked me. Her sly old voice continued, "Though _I_ think staying with Houshi-dono would be..."

Shaking my head, I interrupted her. "I am a fighter, Kaede-sama. I cannot sit here and watch him die, not when I know I could be helping to stop it. Staying here would do nothing for me, and it would not help him, unconscious as he is. I will not let Houshi-sama die." When I looked at her, her gaze had become proud. She was proud of me. Seeing it encouraged me that I was doing right. Houshi-sama was the one with the patience and skill to nurse me back to health. I am, much as I may sometimes dislike admitting it, like Inuyasha. I fight my problems. Houshi-sama fixes them with his head.

"If Naraku is defeated, the curse will be lifted and the kazaana will disappear." My voice was a growl. Keeping it deep and low meant that it could not waver from sadness. "And Houshi-sama will live."

Kaede nodded, stroking her chin. "To get the last shard from Kohaku-kun, Naraku will surely appear. Inuyasha and Kagome are already on their way there."

"Yes. Shippou has gone to get Kirara for me. We can catch up to them soon, hopefully. We will kill Naraku this time for certain, Kaede-sama. We _must_."

She didn't ask. She didn't ask why this time we _had_ to win. I think she knew then. I couldn't bear to look at her after that. Taking a deep breath, I asked, Kaede-sama, "would you leave us alone for a moment?"

Taking Rin into her arms, and ordering Jaken to follow, she left me alone with Houshi-sama. Alone in the dim light of the storage shed I let myself cry again. I was frightened. I felt like everything rested on my shoulders--and they were too weak to keep from hurting when I lifted my boomerang. Pathetic. _I _was going to defeat Naraku? Ha!

But I _had_ to!

I was glad that he was not in pain. His face was at ease, his eyes closed peacefully, his lips slightly parted as he steadily breathed in and out. If he was in pain and moaning, or squirming, or having trouble breathing... It looked like he was asleep. He looked peaceful...

"Houshi-sama. I..."

He's always risking his life to save mine and Kohaku's.

_Houshi-sama..._

Asleep. Like if I touched his arm, he might awaken and smile at me, and open his eyes I touched the arm with the kazaana, leaning over him. He did not waken. I wanted to say the words. I wanted to say them so much! But my throat closed.

_Please, dont die._

So peaceful. Houshi-sama. _My_ Houshi-sama.

I lowered my head to his, my long hair laying flat against his back. I barely felt his breath on my face. I was not nervous. I was numb. Maybe that was why I couldn't say the words. His lips were soft and warm, but they did not kiss me back. Why? Why had I waited so long to do this? Why wouldn't he wake up? Why wouldn't he kiss me back?

I lifted my head. His taste still clung to me, like I was bringing a part of him with me to defeat Naraku. And I was. I was bringing with him everything he had given to me. I could not say it. I vowed I would show it to him when he was able to kiss me back.

* * *

**I was floating in a sea of emptiness. I could smell herbs. I knew that Kaede was near me, if not constantly. I let myself float adrift in that sea. Once, I felt like a hand gripped mine and pulled me ashore to reality for a moment.** **The smell of herbs was gone, replaced with a scent I knew far too well. Sango. Sango.**

**On that island of reality, surrounded in the emptiness, I dreamt of lips pressing to mine in a chaste goodbye, and I could smell tears. Then it was gone and only the smell of salty tears remained, and a lingering scent. The sea of emptiness became an ocean of tears, but still the island of reality remained, I half on its shores like a half-drowned victim. I was anchored there by the scent that clung my shirt, and the taste of Sango's tears on my lips.**

**Buddha, what had she done? What was she going to do? Her words slowly drifted to me, like the sweet song of ocean birds, and I clung to them against my heart.**

'Its my turn now, Houshi-sama.'

* * *

Fin.


End file.
